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Independence Day– My favorite holiday of the year.

I’m not sure I am capable of expressing my feelings regarding this day. I feel completely inept, when I try.

One thing I know for certain, is that our Declaration of Independence was inspired. The men who wrote, edited, re-wrote and wrote again before it was signed- were men of God.  They prayed, pondered and prayed again. They soul searched and researched and prayed some more.   I have no doubt.

This day– I hope you take a few minutes and consider that.

I am moved by a speech made my Franklin D. Roosevelt on July 4, 1942.

For 166 years this Fourth Day of July has been a symbol to the people of our country of the democratic freedom which our citizens claim as their precious birthright. On this grim anniversary its meaning has spread over the entire globe–focusing the attention of the world upon the modern freedoms for which all the United Nations are now engaged in deadly war.

On the desert sands of Africa, along the thousands of miles of battle lines in Russia, in New Zealand and Australia, and the islands of the Pacific, in war-torn China and all over the seven seas, free men are fighting desperately–and dying–to preserve the liberties and the decencies of modern civilization. And in the overrun and occupied nations of the world, this day is filled with added significance, coming at a time when freedom and religion have been attacked and trampled upon by tyrannies unequaled in human history.

Never since it first was created in Philadelphia, has this anniversary come in times so dangerous to everything for which it stands. We celebrate it this year, not in the fireworks of make-believe but in the death-dealing reality of tanks and planes and guns and ships. We celebrate it also by running without interruption the assembly lines which turn out these weapons to be shipped to all the embattled points of the globe. Not to waste one hour, not to stop one shot, not to hold back one blow–that is the way to mark our great national holiday in this year of 1942.

To the weary, hungry, unequipped Army of the American Revolution, the Fourth of July was a tonic of hope and inspiration. So is it now. The tough, grim men who fight for freedom in this dark hour take heart in its message–the assurance of the right to liberty under God–for all peoples and races and groups and nations, everywhere in the world.

It’s a bit humbling isn’t it?  Happy Happy Independence Day.  I hope, with all my heart that I never forget the sacrifices paid, the effort made and the valiant men and woman who have made the life I live now, possible.

May we maintain our vigilance and due diligence to keep those freedoms intact.  It is absolutely essential that we do so.  Of this, I have no doubt.

The sun has finally come out from its winter hiding place and the temperatures are starting to rise.  The grasses are green and everything is still in full bloom.  We’ve had quite a “spring”  here in Northern Utah.

Currently this picture is on my profile status on Facebook.  I picked it for a reason, and have been asked a couple of times about it.  S0, on this billowy afternoon, as Ethan is giggling on the floor and I am sitting here looking at the beautiful scenery outside my window–I thought I would delve.

Since having Ethan and the entire cornucopia of experiences he brought along with him, all that I have thought I believed in has been challenged. All the difficult questions we avoid night and day have been inescapable.  Truly teetering on the edge of the “do I really believe” fence- I have walked.

I was reminded last week after seeing a film at LDS Temple Visitor’s Center of my convictions regarding promises given to us by our Savior and Heavenly Father.   This film was a brief depiction of Jesus’ life.  It showed the miracles. The healing of the sick, the blind, the deaf, the afflicted.  Simple video images, accompanied by  amazing music–It was a humbling experience and a powerful reminder to hang in there, hold tight and to be strong.

With out question, I know that someday Ethan will be made whole.  The earthly ties that bind him will be removed and his spirit un-contained. What a transformation that will be.  A body perfect from disease and restrictions. What sheer delight  it will be to get to know Ethan, in a different window.

That knowledge provides sustenance. It brings you through the hard days, and is a reminder to be grateful on the good ones.

Well, that and diet cola, a bit of humor, good friends and supportive family.

So back to this picture.  I can see my boy, sitting in the warm summer sunshine- puffy clouds, hanging out with his dog. A smile on his face–

It will happen– I know it.

“Oh what do you do in the summertime when all the world is green….”

This is a picture of Ethan on the first day of school. He’s quite the handsome man, in his shorts and new t-shirt, all geared up in his chair and waiting for the bus. He has a great new mop chop (haircut) and he’s looking pretty spiffy.

Ethan has done great in school so far this year. I am elated with his progress and with the efforts from his team and all the work that goes in to helping him be successful.

At the Parents of children who are Deaf and Blind’s Annual Conference this year, we were lucky to receive a book as part of the tokens given to each set of parents. It is called, “In Jesse’s Shoes”, and it is a beautifully illustrated children’s book that is written by a sister of a child with a different ability.

I was touched by the beautiful message this sends to kids about bullying, about children that are different and how if we could really “walk” in other people’s shoes, our eyes would be opened in a way, that I don’t think we can pretend to understand.

I believe it is in our nature, to be empathetic and sympathetic. I think we work really hard to be generous and kind. I truly believe that most people strive, to do their best. This story is innocently written about a walk that a sister literally took, wearing her brother’s shoes.

After reading the book, we decided that a great place for this one to reside would be in our son’s elementary school library. So we donated it, with the hopes that when children come across this story, it might help with the conversation that all parents should have with their children (often) about others that are different.

I was incredibly touched this last week, when I went to volunteer in Ethan’s classroom, that our school Librarian had selected this book as the weekly reader. Meaning, that each class would get it read to them during library time. From Kindergarten to Fifth grade. It did my heart a good turn to see the efforts that the staff has put forth to help everyone included.

Ethan isn’t a student who will ever know, teasing. He won’t hear taunts and jabs, or be aware of other folks staring at him or whispering about him. We’re lucky in that regard, because Ethan’s spirit is protected from the knowledge of such things.

Other’s are not so lucky. I am so proud of the changes taking place across the world. I am excited to see awareness posters and disability billboards outreaching to others to promote acceptance and community spirit towards those individuals who are so different from us. I love it.

I think one of the most amazing things about us as humans, is the power we have to change our nature. We can arm ourselves with information, knowledge, understanding and awareness to help change our innate response to things we are uncertain about. What a gift our Heavenly Father has given us. What incredible opportunities we have to allow ourselves to grow past the hesitancy and reluctance that we might feel, when in a position of meeting some one who is disabled, or differently abled.

As a parent, this hope is manna. Sustenance.

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. Helen Keller

I have a million things going on in my mind, and I have no way of even being able to come up with a title let alone a post. So I am going to ramble.

Today, I had the chance to talk to one of Victoria’s friends, Veronica (part of Team V, in water polo) online. I love her, she is such a gem! She offered to adopt Ethan as her little brother. She then asked, what were the things he COULD do. Ah, now that of course makes my day. I was happy to fill her in. There are so many things we didn’t think Ethan would EVER do. When I told her that, she asked what. So I answered a quick little summation. It does my heart good to focus on the positive. To talk about his strengths is a reminder of all the things Ethan has been able to learn, as well as how we have grown.

The Bozark and I have been reconnecting with his siblings. What a joy that has been. We have an incredible sister-in-law that has been very instrumental in bringing everyone together and for that, we will be eternally grateful! We are delighted to be introduced to two wonderful nephews and a beautiful niece. We met with his family and had an impromptu baby shower, for his youngest sister who is expecting a new baby any day!!! That was a blast, and we have been having so much fun. We all went to the zoo, and scampered around looking at the animals and celebrated our youngest nephew’s, 3rd birthday! We are looking forward to getting to know them better and we even have a camping trip scheduled for the end of the month that we are just dang excited about! I can’t believe how enhanced our lives are, and how grateful we are, to have this new adventurous path to travel down!

Ethan, my gorgeous young man has been on the steady upwards incline for a while now. He is doing so well, that I can’t believe it. I’m just amazed with all the many things that he has been doing lately. Some highlights; He attended the Independence Day Parade, with us and was incredibly well behaved. No crying, fussing or having a fit. After the parade, we walked down to the park for our small town festivities. While the other kids played and had a great time, Ethan sat in his chair and later on my lap, for a great while, before we decided it was time to go home. He did so well, I could not believe it! He laughed and giggled and played, and completely behaved. I’m STUNNED. That is all I have to say. Later, we took him to the fireworks where we hung out with the Bozark’s family, and again he played and laughed and watched the fireworks. No screaming, crying ect. What a marvelous day. I am so proud of him. Ethan has also been working his ability to clap. He doesn’t have much use for his right arm (we are hoping that some day, he’ll get the memo that he even has one..) So he moves his left arm, across his body and claps. WOW. That is something I never ever would have thought possible! Another MAJOR inchstone, has been summer school. He has transitioned from his regular classroom, to another room, with a different teacher and at a different time of day. Are you kidding me? We were all prepared for the very WORST. Not only that, but it is so much hotter and he is incredibly heat sensitive. Our boy, has sat up in his wheelchair and adapted beautifully. All reports from school have been favorable! He still has times where he is very fussy and cries. We do our best to console him. Sometimes, we simply can’t. However, that is happening less and less. I’m keeping my fingers crossed!

We are preparing for our the Steven’s-Taylor annual Camp-A-Thon. We most often refer to it as the Rebellion. This will be the first year with out my Mom, and I am trying very hard to gear up for it. This reunion was her thing. It literally meant everything to her.She would wait and look forward to it all year long. Then come the long trip home she would start planning next years. I think it would be safe to say, she was the Matriarch of the family. It was so important to her, that come August the entire family would pack up, and head to the mountain. She made me promise her, just a day before she passed away, that I would do my best to carry on this tradition. I’ll keep it. Though, it will never be the same with out her.

Tomorrow will mark the eighth year we have been with out my Dad. There will always be a special place in my heart for Independence Day, simply because that was the last event we spent with him. He drove off in his big maroon Kenworth, on his last trip and left us smiling and waving at him from the Fireman’s Fundraiser Breakfast. Though, he wasn’t perfect, he was the best. I’ve gained many a lesson from him, and I miss him desperately. Sometimes it comes in a physical ache. I wish he would have known Ethan in this life. He would have been his champion. He was the absolute supporter of the underdog and he would have loved to see his grandchildren participate in sports. He used to comment on how he hoped he would live to see Kaden play high school ball. That wish was not granted, nor did he ever see Victoria play water polo. He would have really enjoyed that. When the swish of that ball hit the back of the net, in our sudden death state championship water polo game, my first thought was, I know my Dad is cheering for her, from on high. The youngest grandchild will only know him through the stories, which is a shame. However, I am grateful that we have those to share. And, share we will. You can count on that.

My job has had some twist and turns in it lately and I have learned so much about myself on this journey. I am so grateful that I have been granted this opportunity. This last month we have had some people out on personal leave and it has left a gaping hole in our system. Everyone has thrown in the towel, on our schedule and just tried to pull it together and do what we can. I am always surprised by how people react to things and accommodate for the need, even when it is tough. I have been able to work with some adult clients, and I have come to understand and appreciate how much effort and investment they have into being successful. I have often judged way too quickly and thought far too harshly about peoples situations. I see things a little differently now, and changing that view, has been really good for my personal growth and development.

Life is quite a journey, isn’t it? Gratitude is what I feel this day.

Over the last few months I have really gotten a good look at the frailty of the human race. The clients I work with come from every crevice of life. Some with an education that far exceeds my own. Others who were born, already behind on the human food chain.

The lessons I’ve learned are ones I can’t really share because I am incapable of articulating the experiences. Just explaining them or describing them, is vastly different than seeing them first hand.

One thing however, that I have stumbled across is that we all have secrets. Complexities and hardships that are often silent or unseen. Others, are visible and can’t be denied, out there for the whole world to witness or wonder about.

I used to drive down the street and look at pretty houses, and think to myself, the people that live there must be so incredibly happy. For years, into my adulthood, the concept that every one struggles was very slow to seep in.

I have over the course of my life been very quick to judge people. To hold them accountable for this or that, with a very narrow view into their world. I regret that, now. More than I can say. I am sure that I have also added to others pain, because of my finger pointing in their direction. Again, something I wish I could change.

This last week has been spent with my head spinning over something that has taken place in our family. My reaction to this experience, has been judged by many. I’ve been told, by some that I just need to relax. That these are things kids do, and that I need to say my peace, and just move on. I’ve had a few people say to me, that I have done exactly what they would have. While I found solace in those opinions, I have felt very alone, in this battle.

I have to say, The Bozark, backed me up, and really we reacted to this together, and that was a comfort to me, and I have appreciated his help and his understanding to my intense responses to this situation.

I have realized that because of past experiences in my life, and things I have gone through and seen, that I have a more passionate reaction to situations that others might not. I feel impressed that these things are very important, and that training and teaching our children are not just our right, but our responsibility. And that, by not acting the fault will lay at our feet. This I believe with all of my heart.

I am grateful, grateful to my toenails for the lessons I have learned these last few years. I am grateful for the people I work with, and for the glimpse into their lives they offer me. I am grateful for good friends, who look me in the eye and call a spade a spade. I am so thankful for the blue room, in which I can run with my eyes full of tears and have a wonderful friend who will just let me sob out all of my thoughts, and fears. I am grateful for the Bozark, who offers me support and comfort. Who patiently waits for me to say what I want to say, and who tries very hard to understand where I am coming from.

I think the Satan is having a heyday in his final hours. Not to try to sound prophetic, but I do believe these are the final days, and I think Satan has a hold on this old world. The temptations and worldly draws are out there in a force that is stronger than a lot of people feel they can fight.

The assault on the family unit is unbelievable. The world’s views on family is so skewed from what my personal thoughts are. In movies, and tv shows, not only do we see a lax moral code, we see a literal dissolving of the family unit itself.

From this view, I have, into the world and its negative vista, I still retain hope. I still think that most of us get up every day, make an effort to do positive things. We try to fight our addictions, are trials, our hardships. Some of them silent, some secret, and some of them visible and blunt. We try to keep our families together, and close. We invest our time and talents into raising our kids and doing the best we can.

And the fight, is really worth it.

I really shouldn’t write blog posts in the middle of the night, when I can’t sleep.

I miss my Dad. Thoughts of him, carve in and out of my mind and swirl around quite often.  Sometimes missing him, creeps up on me, and this intense gulf of emotion takes me off guard.  Othertimes, memories of him, arrive with comfort and laughter. I love when his name comes up in conversations and we giggle about one of his crazy pranks or funny phrases.

Tonight, in casual conversation, a good friend of mine, mentioned the film, “Gone In Sixty Seconds”.

A rush of tears instantly and a memory rushes in, and all of a sudden, I am back in time.

Dad never had the patience to watch movies. Sports, could interest him, but movies, were never really his thing. I don’t remember ever really watching a full movie with Dad.

For Christmas in 2000, we finally completed our first real theater system. Surround sound, some good speakers, and we had a big screen TV at the time. In fact that holiday time is filled with some good memories, of watching movies.

As the year 2001 rolled around, life for us was in full swing. My parents didn’t live far from us, and they would drop by on occassion. My Dad would often park his truck in front of our house, and the kids were always excited to see him.

One evening, we finally coaxed them to come for Sunday dinner. Dad sat down on the couch and was enjoying watching our TV. He suffered some hearing loss, and LOVED how the loud we could get the sound.

The Bozark, put in one of our DVD’s. Gone In Sixty Seconds. My Dad, sat through that whole movie with us. He giggled, laughed, and thoroughly enjoyed it. We had so much fun. Popcorn, lights out, that movie, playing loud and just watching my Dad actually enjoy it, was pure delight.

He remarked several times, those last few months of his life, how much he liked that movie.

It is one of my most precious memories of the winter of his life. He died, that July.

I sure do miss him.

I can’t express how neat it is, to show you my delve into the baking

world, so that I can display pictures of my beautiful new fancy plates.

I was able to get my chubby little hands on some fresh blackberries. Yes, a whole flat full. Yay. Have I mentioned my incredible love affair that I have with berries?

So, after eating off of them for a couple of days, and deciding it was freeze, use or loose, I started to look for a recipe that could delight our tastebuds with these beautiful blackberries.

I settled on, a simple blackberry crumb cake. It’s so easy, and is absolutely delicious.

It goes like this!

Ingredients:

4 tablespoons butter

3/4 cup flour

3/4 cup granulated sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

dash salt

1/2 cup evaporated milk

2 cups fresh blackberries

2 tablespoons brown sugar

Preparation:
Preheat oven to 325°. Melt butter in an 8-inch square baking dish in the preheated oven. Combin e flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and milk in a small bowl and beat until smooth. Pour batter over the melted butter, top with the blackberries, then sprinkle the brown sugar evenly over the fruit. Bake for 45 to 55 minutes, or until browned.

It worked out very well. Golden bubbly. I think when I make this again, with black or raspberries, I would suger dust the berries, prior to baking. Other than that, it was perfect.

I served it, on my pretty, pretty plates, warm, with vanilla bean ice cream.

I love my plates. Have I mentioned that? Thank you so much to everyone who participated in my Christmas Dream Come True.

Truly, it has meant the world to me.

The State High School Swim Team Meet is looming before us. And with it, the end of an era for Miss Victoria.

How can it be, this day alrealdy here. Just looming ahead. To be scratched off the calendar, this month.

I sure do wish someone could explain to me, how time just goes by faster and faster and faster, when really you just want to tack it down and enjoy it.

For her, it couldn’t go any faster. She is just itching to head forward. To forge on and carve out her future.

She is delightful.

So the end of swim season is here. GOOD luck at State, BEARS! Swim Hard, strong, and with confidence.

Water Polo is next! Oh joy!

I have been bestowed with an award, from my friend Loran’s blog, Many River’s To Cross!

If  you have not traveled to her place yet, I would strongly suggest that you take a minute. Her quotes, viewpoints and pictures are spectacular.

Thank you Loran, for thinking of me! I really appreciate it!

So with out further ado, I will nominate some grand bloggers of my choosing, to let them know that I think their places, are very cool.

1. The Bozark of course! I was quite taken aback when he started blogging.  His writing talent which is evident, as well as his insights keep me on my toes.  I appreciate his flair in sharing what is interesting to him and the bits and pieces of his life that he includes along the way! (He’s taken ladies, so no need to swoon)
2. The Quarter Deck ! I often find myself waiting for his entries.  He writes from his heart and his adoration for his family is evident. Through trials and triumphs I have been just in awe of his journey.
3. Life With The K’s ! I love this blog. Fresh and fun, always a bright light for me, when I visit. I especially appreciate the realness of what I find written, and I enjoy the ride, in watching the Life with the K’s.
4. Tyler’s Triumph’s ! This incredible young man is very cool, and so are his parents. Normal folks, living an extraordinary life, who are a constant example to me, and one of the most “real” people, you’ll ever meet. This blog is humbling, enlightening and entertaining all at the same time!
5. Melissa’s Mysteries! This wonderful girl is a great friend. Her entries are thought provoking and full of information, thoughts and feelings. I appreciate her honesty and her ability to let her real self shine through her blog. She tells us how it is, and she is great doing it. She is an award winning writer who has a great future ahead of her, and is someone who is actually LIVING and striving for her dreams.

So this ladies and gentlemen is who I will bestow this lovely award upon.  Thanks again Loran for awarding me!

For those who won, here are the steps you need to take, in order to award your coolest blogs!

1.  Place the logo on your blog